Honest and helpful, not just nice

Today on Facebook I posted a statement in my status that got some dialog going and it was pretty thought provoking.  I did not expect much response but as I replied to a couple posts, it really allowed my roots to strive deeper on these thoughts.  What was the original posting?

Many times the most dangerous and unhealthy is a friend more concerned about my comfort/happiness, than my character.

This thought was brought to my attention from a podcast from Chuck Swindoll from Insight for Living website, titled: “Getting through the tough stuff – confrontation”.  I always liked Chuck’s podcasts and this one did not let me down. He had a simple question in his message that was, “would you prefer to have a friend that just put up with your short-comings and issues, or ones that would help point out areas of opportunity and help you with challenges in your life?”.

Well in all honesty, I have had many experiences of both types of friends, and had the desires for both types from time to time.  There were times when there is just comfort and camaraderie when there is an accomplice with you.  Almost like, if someone else is doing the same thing as you, it is not as bad. Almost like justifying the actions. Some past actions come to mind; breaking curfew, doorbell ditch, shoplifting, drinking, etc.

Now many years down the road, I look back on some of the things that I have done that were character deflating and then thought of my partners in crime and now wonder why we did not help each other to make better decisions.  I do admit that when there is fun and excitement, it is hard to see the full extent of impact to the actions being performed.

I have had some really laid back friends. You might know the ones I am referring to. They are the ones that never want to point anything out that is not right, they don’t want to make you mad or angry.  Those same friends are the ones that tend to just fade away. Instead of talking to you and discussing what does not seem right and help you out and work with you, rather than just disassociating with you; that would be so helpful.

Of course we don’t want anybody telling us what we are doing wrong, but that is more of a reflection of our own insecurity.  I can testify that now as I am more mature and willing to get feedback, I wished I would have had more persistent friends in my past. I know that there are many things that I did and how friends saw many of them, but elected to allow me to journey down my own road.

Have you ever felt this way? Have you always felt this way? Am I the only one that has taken many years to get to this point?

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